Revitalize – Nurture – Re Energize

"Breathe it really isn't that bad..."

So today I made a quick pit stop at the grocery store on my way to pick up my kids from school.  It was one of those moments that if you planned it correctly, you were master of your schedule. Now if you got distracted, then you were late and your great idea just became a nightmare.

I did my best to get the essentials and stay on task.  I headed to the check out.  The shortest line was a cashier I have seen there many times before.  Sweet lady but reeeaaalllly slow.  I thought to myself “I don’t have a lot of stuff so let’s do it.”  I know you are thinking her snail pace made me late but no.  What stands out about this mundane task was our dialogue.  She was very polite and asked me “how I was doing?”  I said “great how are you?”  She looked at me, rolled her eyes and sighed, ” I am here…accounted for…only a half hour left.”

First off, as a business minded individual and leader – that is a HUGE no-no.  That is a major pet peeve.  If you hate customer service that don’t pick a job like that.  The bigger issue is how unfortunate for this woman to feel so low at a place

she spends a lot of time at.  According to her name tag she has been working there since 1982. WOW!

One of the mistakes we have made in the past is trying to create a line between work and personal life.  Like we can somehow shut our personal side down when we cross that boundary.  If you are not personally attached to what you do to earn money, than you are working from a vacant place.  Action without purpose is a prison sentence.  I believe there are many who indeed feel their job is a sentence without parole.

In a time of such uncertainty and change we need to remind ourselves of a few things:

1. There are children working in conditions that are not fit for barn animals.
2. In areas of the world, jobs involve walking for miles carrying clean water to your village.
3. There are young men and women who have chosen jobs which involve putting themselves in harms way because they believe in something.  (My 3 nephews in the British Royal Marines included)

4. I teach individuals that have been given months to live.

Am I being dramatic?  You bet.  Sometimes a slap of drama can wake us up from that vacant state of mind.  We are surrounded by opportunities if we choose to see them.  It is just that simple.  The way we choose to perceive our surroundings can be a prison or it can be a world of possibility.  So are you here and accounted for or are you alive and thriving?!

"Looking for opportunities for growth & education.

As Breast Cancer Awareness Month comes to a close I felt it necessary to end it on a note of hope and strength. Usually people ask me to share my story as they find it inspiring. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a pretty good one but I feel compelled to begin with a story that has nothing to do with cancer. I watched a documentary which featured a variety of film makers. Kim Longinotto was one of them. Her award-winning documentary, The Day I Will Never Forget was featured. I watched footage of this young woman eloquently tell her story of physical mutilation she endured. She spoke of a “pain that left her with no voice” She continued to say “she would never want her friends to endure this.” I burst into tears as I listened. What made it even more powerful was this young woman was not even a teenager.

“My experience suddenly became very small and insignificant.”

As I watched, every cell in my body was vibrating. Her incredibly brave voice penetrated my soul. Beyond the atrocity that still occurs in our world, I was amazed in the strength and determination in this young girl’s eyes. She was part of a movement to stop this grotesque ritual in Kenya. My experience suddenly became very small and insignificant. Once I got over the tears, I reminded myself not to feel pity for this incredible child but instead to feel compassion, respect and absorb her strength. I needed to absorb the fearless power of her message. She was speaking in a universal voice that is deep within us all. It is that true voice that shouts louder than any technology because it comes from a place of resilience and optimism. It is that voice we find when we look beyond our pain and fear. Life threatening is a matter of perception. If we allow it, our pain can become the strength that unites us.

“I felt more disappointment than anger.”

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in June of 2006, I was completely overwhelmed as I imagine all people are when they hear those words. I felt more disappointment than anger. I doubted everything I felt confident about. I was in a great place in my life that I was very grateful for. I had a loving husband; two lovely children; great career. I didn’t need the wake up call. How could I burden my family with this? Once I got over the shock, I knew I had to quickly come to terms with this unforeseen direction my life was about to go in. I remember sitting out in my garden staring at the sky trying to make sense of everything. As I sat there, an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity came over me. It was obvious what I needed to do. I decided I was going to look beyond the fear of what I was about to face. I believe in empowering yourself when you are challenged. It is fear that leads us to believe that Cancer treatment is difficult, disfiguring and depressing. In some ways this is true but if we allow ourselves to look beyond that, there is a world of possibilities. Once I did that, I felt a new found strength that I had never experienced before. I was able to connect with a deeper sense of self and intuition to help guide me through this difficult journey. Everything I had learned and experienced in life had lead and prepared me for this moment. There was a hurricane of emotions that I did my best to acknowledge and deal with. After I would shed tears I had earned, I gathered myself and moved on. I had to. This burden was part of the lesson. If I could find strength and confidence in my darkest place, I knew I would reap the rewards once it was over.

“My biggest gift is fearlessness.”

As I begin to move into the next phase of living with cancer, I enjoy the many gifts that have come from this experience. I know now that my husband, Jay, and I can truly overcome anything. My children, Owen and Emma, have watched and learned how to deal with adversity with grace and strength as family and friends unite. I have seen the good in my community which has renewed my faith in humanity. My biggest gift is fearlessness. After your worst nightmare comes true and you come out strong, there is not much else to be afraid of. I have gone through treatment looking for opportunities for growth, education and evolution as a woman and a human being. My journey with cancer has allowed me to experience life on a whole new level. My humble wish is to be able to share my story in a way that I may impact people the same way that beautiful girl from Kenya did me. If we all find our universal voice, we can speak on a deeper level where together we can change the world on all levels. We are all entitled to love, joy, health and happiness. If you wish to continue this conversation, please leave a comment.

Much peace and joy,

Jackie

I am currently recovering from a weekend in Chicago.  At the last minute, I was given the

Bono closes the show.

opportunity to see U2 at Soldier Field.  U2 is a band I  grew up and became an adult with.  The first time I saw them was across the Canadian border in the 80’s  at the Fox Theatre, Detroit, Michigan.  It was a historical venue that held an intimate amount of people.  It was fantastic.  I have seen them 3 other times since then.  They are one of those bands that as I went through various stages of my life always had a relevant presence in our society.  They give me a timeless feeling.  I remember sitting a few rows from the stage on Halloween shortly after marrying Jay thinking how cool it was being able to afford tickets that close, given the status U2 had reached.  I felt like a real grown up.  For their last tour, we had to sell our tickets because Jay’s dad had suddenly passed away and Jay had to go to England.  Ironically it was Halloween again.

Going to the Chicago concert this weekend felt incredibly relevant since I have moved through yet another phase in my life; dealing with a life threatening illness.  There have been many surreal moments throughout my treatment.  The physical alterations, dealing with my own mortality and the wonderful layers of closure you can attain if you are open.  Closure gives us the opportunity to release all evidence of trauma, anger, stress, pain and move on to a new sense of optimism and mindful gratitude.  Sometimes closure doesn’t have to be anything life altering.  It can be simply deciding your not going to complain every time you are in traffic because of construction.

In the past, Jay would have arranged to have great tickets and have an itinerary for a great evening.  Where he is normally right on top of these things, for what ever reason he missed the window.  I was disappointed but didn’t hold it against him.  His track record is far too good.  Turns out my younger cousin of 10 years Mark, had two extra tickets.  His girlfriend Melissa is an über, die-hard U2 fan.  I say that because she loves to be right up front by the stage which I think is great.  Thing with that is main floor is usually general admission.  She was a trooper and made it her quest to be in line holding our places first thing in the morning.  This allowed my cousin, Jay

Our backdrop for lunch.

and I to spend the day walking around Chicago.  Like I said, she was a trooper.  We ended up at an outdoor cafe in the park.  The one near the sculpture, The Silver Bean, that provides a liquid reflection of the buildings behind you.  It was beautiful.

Mark and I had the opportunity to catch up on family stories and laugh at our past antics.  Jay and Mark have always got along so we had a great meal and drinks, with great conversation.  We had a blast.  Thanks to Melissa’s commitment, we were right up by the catwalk at a concert where there were approximately 80 000 people.  As always U2 provided an uplifting evening.  So at 41 I have come full circle – standing in sea of people, humbly waiting to be inspired.

On our drive home we stopped for dinner.  The steakhouse was located off the highway.  There was a large bar across the parking lot with quite a few motorcycles.  As we sat there enjoying our well cooked entrees, we discussed the concert, music history and its influence on society.  Our server was a friendly, personable African- American man who assisted us in ending our weekend off on a good note.

Here are some of the many special things I take away from this weekend:

• I, like everyone around me stood patiently to absorb the pure inspiration being given by the incredibly talented members of U2.
• I was able to play a role in keeping the next generation of my family tree united.
• I felt common bonds with the diverse people around me during dinner.  My husband has a motorcycle and we love going out on long rides.  I could appreciate the roar of the Harleys in the background.  I had to believe that my server trusted we respected him and the service he was providing us.  I hoped everyone on that patio was mindfully enjoying their food, drinks and company and finally letting go of past racial stereotypes – on all ends; bikers included.
• Insight and more closure.

I truly believe we are on our way to recovery.  This is a time that requires unified, innovation.  I think of the amazing strides people like Kathy Giusti have made by uniting brilliant people to share ideas and make great changes in the world.  New cancer drugs to be exact.   I know there are great challenges ahead but as history would confirm, we have overcome obstacles in the past.  When in doubt, reflect back on individuals that have overcome extreme difficulty: Nelson Mandela, Lance Armstrong, and Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell to name a few.  The next step is to discover your role in weathering this storm we are going through.  It can be as simple as changing a negative thought into a positive one; smiling instead of looking so serious.  Believe in possibility.

PS. Did I mention that my favorite dance crews is Jabbawokeez and Quest Crew?  I used to teach hip hop fitness classes.  I have been bald due to cancer treatment and people still thought I was beautiful.  I love Donny Deutsch , Jon Stewart and the county Harley Davidson dealer we recently visited is a Vegan who does Yoga.  Like I said, believe in possibility.

As a Gen Xer, 80’s music was the anthem of my youth. Record stores were cool hang outs where the span of subcultures that existed then could be the Goths of this generation.  As a lover of media and art, it is interesting to see how our social evolution amalgamates with the exponential evolution occurring in the methods in which we move information.  Technology allows us to personalize our information so thoroughly, while maintaining a vast selection of digitally packaged pieces – our personal cyber art collection.  I remember listening to my professors talk and thinking how I admired the wealth of their knowledge.  I was envious of the passionate places they spoke from.  There was certain wisdom and maturity they possessed that I somehow understood only came with ‘real life’ experience. When I would study in University, I would ponder if I would ever witness something as relevant as what I was reading about.  I would dream of living in such an inspiring time.

I have come to realize that your 40’s are when you start to evaluate your life on a deeper level.  Statistically we have dealt with some serious stuff.  So we find ourselves able to feel compassion for those around us.  We have experienced enough for our opinion to matter.  Our demographic is slowly moving into roles of significant influence.  We are the decision makers.  So this means we truly have the power to make an impact on the history we are writing.

Devices allow us to literally surround ourselves with things that inspire us.  Music is one of those things.  Lou Reed said it perfectly, “The impact three minutes of creativity can have on individuals is astounding.”  Satellite Radio allows me to enjoy stations that create an amazing sense of nostalgia.  I reminisce with the feelings I had when these songs were in their prime.  For those few moments I’m in a timeless space.  You have the pleasure of experiencing the music with depth we didn’t have when we were younger.  Our collection of sites, blogs, photos, videos and music allow us to create experiences of sensory substance.  We all have the opportunity to feel that wonderful sensation.  My top five songs below are pieces that remind me of significant points of my youth.  The list could go on an on but these are the ones I have been feeling lately:

How Soon is Now…The Smiths

Train in Vain…The Clash

Two Hearts Beat as One…U2

Once in a Lifetime…Talking Heads

Thieves Like Us…New Order

This technological age is allowing virtually anyone access to resources that can significantly improve the quality of your life.  We are able to surround ourselves with things that are relevant to us as individuals.  If done with a positive purpose, one has the potential to create the life that speaks to you with the utmost clarity; you know the moments… that perfect vacation; your baby’s first laugh; closing that deal that meant you really are a pro.  We now have so many tools at our disposal to clearly communicate what we need.  From that point, we are given endless choices to connect with the right digital package/energy to make it happen. Nostalgia allows us to reignite our passions from our past and apply it to the wisdom of our present. The genre doesn’t matter as long as it makes your heart sing.  What were you rockin’ out to?

“I am guessing everyone who has dealt with cancer treatment has a similar list.  The following are true conversations I had during the course of my 2 year treatment plan.”

# 5… “I had to get a lump checked as well.  It was really scary waiting for the test results.  I can only imagine what you are going through.” No you can’t because your tests were negative! Duhh!

#4…Getting on the Survivor Dragon Boat against my will at the 2006 races just weeks after my diagnosis (you can read the whole story in my book The Pink Notes).  As I am sitting there starring at the floor this woman asks me “Are you a survivor?” Am I being punked? What boat am on?

#3…This person was trying to ‘help’: “I told my kids even if they didn’t want to play with Owen and Emma (my children) they had to let them come over” Thanks but no thanks.

#2…This came from a fellow soccer mom: “My friend is a nurse and she said that when a young woman gets cancer, the outcome is usually not good.” Eeeyah.  Nice.  She either thought I was really old or I was going to die.

#1…This came from a woman I knew in high school who notoriously said inappropriate thing so I found it more comical than anything. “My husband does research in HIV/AIDS and he said he would much prefer having HIV over Cancer because the survival rate was so much better.” If this is indeed true, my heart rejoices for those of you with HIV/AIDS.  This in turn means I win the award for having the scariest disease on the planet! Yeeahh me!

As I have said before, life threatening is a matter of perception.  I am sure you have a top 5 list worst things someone said to you while going through a difficult time.  I would love to hear yours.  (Any dirogitory, obscene or disrespectful content is unexceptable.)

Hi there,

I am thrilled to announce the RNR WELLNESS PROGRAM is officially live and active.  (www.rnrprogram.com)  My team and I have created a library of modules to assist you in navigating the demands and stress that is a reality of the lives we lead today.

My blog articles will contain relevant content that will inspire you to lead a richer life; which will in turn lead to better health.  It will occasionally make you think hard, feel a little weird or laugh out loud.  These are all things necessary to find that illusive mind/ body connection we are all so desperately searching for.  My diverse, entrepreneurial background in media, visual arts, education and fitness allows me to tell stories we can all relate to.  It is through these stories we discover that in the end, we are all the same.  As Dr. Sam Yoshida says, “there are many paths to Rome.”  Ultimately we all want to get to our version of “Rome”.  If we can internalize that understanding, we then have a clearer picture of what our own map is.  Every success story your read or watch, tells a tale of how that individual discovered to identify their own map.  My intention is to provide you multi-media content with some condensed wisdom to make the process more efficient for you.

As I have told many of my clients, my work is not only about my own individual success but more importantly about the imprint that we collectively leave on our global future.  If my work can play a small part in you discovering your best life, than I am having my ‘Billie Elliot’ moment.  (You will have to stay tuned for me to explain what that means.  That is an entire blog in itself.)

So as I share my excitement with you, I want to acknowledge my great team of colleagues that have put their careers best work into this project.  I always believe in giving credit where it is due so below you will discover the skills that are behind this innovative site.

Production Credits:
The list that follows is not only to acknowledge the talent behind the RNR Wellness program but also to provide you some insight into the commitment and incredible creative chemistry that was behind this innovative project. Believe in possibility!

Muse:
My husband Jay who supports me in creating a life for me and our children, which provides the foundation and inspiration to learn, create and teach with purpose.
Most valuable response from him: “Sounds great. Go for it. I’m in.”

Design and Visual Concept:
Mindbox Creative Group
www.mindboxcreativegroup.com

HD Video Production:
Mindbox Creative Group
Jon Gillies possesses a depth of creativity in multi media design which is truly endless. I am forever grateful to have such talent on my team.
Most valuable response from him: “Sure whatever you need.”
www.mindboxcreativegroup.com

Dynamic Backend Portal System:
Smartechno
Sarmad Shabo is not only a wealth of knowledge but is incredibly patient and pays exceptional attention to detail.
Most valuable response from him: “If you can visualize it, I can write the script for it.”
www.smartechno.com

Music:
Healing Frequencies and Musical Soundscapes
Desert Dwellers
Amani Friend & Rara Avis provide a fantastic amalgamation of sound which creates an amazing sensory experience.
Most valuable response from them: “We really like to support this type of healing in the world.”
www.desertdwellers.org
www.myspace.com/desertdwellers

Benjamin Black
Benjamin provides an intoxicating sound which brings dignity to the modules for those living with cancer.
Most valuable response from him: “I’m honored that my music could be part of your beautiful project.”
BenjaminBlack@earcandymusic.tv
www.earcandymusic.tv

I am looking forward to creating a long-lasting, insightful dialogue with you all.

Be well,

Jackie